keep calm and have a cupcake.

time for a cocktail.
at 3pm..
but hey, its friday.

ive been having so many revelations lately.

im young.
the world is my oyster.
i can do/be anything i want to.
i am capable of whatever i put my mind to.
nothing can stop me.
these are things ive heard my entire life. even told other people. but ive never believe it for myself. but thanks to great, sage advice received this week as well as some amazing experiences/opportunities, i finally see what ive been told all along.
i really can do whatever i want.

always seen as a curse, i am finally recognizing my singledom as a blessing. because it enables me to go and do as i please. pick up and move because i have no ties to anywhere. and that feeling of freedom is irreplaceable.
so im ready.

im ready to make the most of what i have. what ive been given. what ive learned.
im smart. talented. fortunate.
im ready to reap the seeds ive sewn.
and ready to handle everything that gets thrown my way.
i am over feeling weak.
i am over feeling defeated.

i am ready to LIVE.

J.Elaine

twinkle twinkle little star.

i got an opportunity today.
a good one.
a shiny, special one.
and im gonna take it.

because if i dont try, ill never know.

and it took something as simple as that phone call to spark me again.
that phone call and then a long talk with my mentor, alicia.
between those two, i am re-energized and ready to move forward.
to where, doing what, for what...i dont know.
but i do know that im too smart and too creative/talented to sit idle.
so maybe ill move. maybe ill develop new dreams. make new goals. and i wont stop until i reach them.
maybe i should re-visit old dreams. pick up old pieces.

bottom line, stop selling myself short.
life is too short to play it safe.
so if i wanna do something, im gonna do it.

so pretty much, im gonna take over the world.

J.Elaine

renewed and in tune.

Hello Monday.
So nice of you to join me.
Probably the most exciting Monday Ive had in a long time thanks to a little vacation this past weekend. Not only did I have an amazing time, but I was receptive to new advice and had quite a few self and life realizations. It was exactly what I needed.
I have the most amazing friends in the entire world. Hands down.
Being back in Tuscaloosa was so much better than I could've ever imagined. And not because I miss that city. Lord knows I dont. But o the people. The people that I love more than life itself. The people who accept and love me regardless of what I do. The people who enable me the freedom to take new paths and try new things.
Needless to say, I have come back to the Shores feeling like my old, familiar self. I realized that I need not change for anyone or anything. Because I am spectacular just the way that I am. And true friends are gonna accept me and appreciate me. Trasitioning to living in a new area was a little harder than I imagined. And I never imagined that I'd have such a mental discontent with it, but I definitely did.
The time reminds me of the tale of the pearl that I once constantly looked to for inspiration.  The story was in my "Overcoming the person you used to be". A Hindu teachings book I purchased while at Martha's Vineyard. The story explains that life is much is very much like the story of the pearl. The pearl begins as dirt. And with irritation, it becomes something beautiful. Much like life. Bad things happen; life gets irritated. But before you know it, all that irritation, hurt, and anger turns into something beautiful. There is something to be learned from everything and there is always a silver lining in every situation.
So I am so very grateful for my weekend. It gave me life back. Set me back on my tracks. Enabled me to realize that Ive been missing my mark all along because Ive been too busy trying to fit in rather than live MY life.
It feels great to be back.

Love each of you with all my little black heart : )

J.Elaine

the cowboy rides again.

today i feel...

my original gay surprised the life out of me yesterday by showing up to Posh.
he pretty much made my day, week, and month. because not only had i not had the opportunity to see him in almost TWO YEARS, but he always inspires me and makes me be a better, fiercer ma'am.
a day with william, aka a boy in heels, is a perfect day.
he and i have come to save your soles : )

vacay starts tomm. shall be grand.
and when i return, i have to get down to business on wedding mess.
and its going to be the most fun mess i have had the pleasure of working with!
i am ready to become a self-brand and make lots o moolah.
and ive been fortunate enough recently to meet some very important, powerful people down here that can only help propel my career. all about pr baby.

in light of my joy from having william visit, i leave you with this quote on friendship:
"have no friends not equal to yourself." -confucious
tis so true.

J.Elaine

Time for Tea.

o how i love a good bookstore.
but they just steal too much of my money.
had to buy bridal mags, those are always costly but full of great ideas. had to buy this cute little journal that reads "keep calm and have a cupcake" because we all know i love a new, fresh journal and i am obsessed with cupcakes. but my favorite of today's purchase a book entitled "the happy hooker". a memoir of a beautiful, foreign, and uber successful madam in new york in the 60's and 70's. i love a good sexcapade-filled story.

i learned a valuable lesson last night. that even though not everything always goes according to plan and the truth isnt always used, some people's energy connects too strongly with yours to let them go. those same people are the ones you meet and you instantly connect with. in my own little religious/spiritual mind, i believe these people were previously in your life in another life. and i feel like you should do everything possible to never lose them because you've reconnected for a reason. i am not mad at him anymore nor am i even really hurt. i am only keeping my head towards the sun.

there are big things happening for me and my future. had a great meeting tonight with a dear friend and artist and she has fully inspired me to get the ball rolling on my personal plans of business. everything is tba right now, but good things are to come and i am absolutely excited. and so ready.

over and out.
J. Elaine

Phew Genesis.

hot damn its been over a week since my last blog. i need a slap on the wrist for that!
since my last update, i am pleased to announce that i have done a complete 180.
THANK GOD.
after a month of feeling out of place and disgruntled, i am finally settled and happy. genuinely happy. back to my old "dont-need-a-significant-other" kindof happy. and man it feels amazing.

I am finally back into a routine. bed early, rise semi-early. laugh at the little things, smile always. soak up as much sun as possible and sit in the sand daily. those are the things i love the most. and most importantly, love my job. learn about it, live it. be gracious every second for the opportunity to live and work in the area that i much adore. not to mention, i get to sit at my computer and laugh with Magda everyday. pretty awesome.

I am anxiously awaiting my tuscaloosa visit...leaving two weeks from today! it shall be such a wonderful weekend i believe. a great pep in my step.
mom and dad are headed down today to spend the weekend with me and i am very excited!! i am very hopeful that mom feels healthy and able to spend time in the sun and water, playing like old times.
i have decided that i am once again destined to be single. at least for now. and thats ok. ive met some amazing people here thus far.one in particular is destined to change my life...he's amazing. but connecting with anyone over sun and salt water is a guaranteed friend for life in my book...

i leave you with this thought:
"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."
Mohandas Gandhi
isn't that the reason that we're all here? to believe in something and fight for a cause? i know i have my personal fights lying in the fight for equality for all peoples as well as environmental issues down here in my new habitat. but restless wars lie everywhere. its time everyone picks a battles and fights relentlessly until change occurs. the oppressed together are far stronger than the oppressor could ever dream of being. fight on my little lovers.

xoxo
J.Elaine